Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family.
are you canadian
merry-shipmas

because we all know that shipping is the gift that keeps on giving.
If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.
fuck
assistantt0theregionalmanager:
I’ve never met a smart person named Ashley
I have a friend named Ashley and one time she took the fish eggs from the top of her sushi and put them in a glass of water because she thought they would hatch
my names ashley…. lol
my apologies, babyb0nez666